Many cultures have a concept of a soul mate, an ideal compliment to an individual in heart, mind and genitals. Sometimes this ideal compliment is referred to as the "other half." Aristophanes, in Plato's Symposium, describes the soul mate as being an actual physical entity - that humans were originally of three genders man, woman and androgynous:
...the primeval man was round, his back and sides forming a circle; and he had four hands and four feet, one head with two faces, looking opposite ways, [190a] set on a round neck and precisely alike; also four ears, two privy members, and the remainder to correspond. He could walk upright as men now do, backwards or forwards as he pleased, and he could also roll over and over at a great pace, turning on his four hands and four feet, eight in all, like tumblers going over and over with their legs in the air; this was when he wanted [190b] to run fast. Now the sexes were three, and such as I have described them; because the sun, moon, and earth are three; and the man was originally the child of the sun, the woman of the earth, and the man-woman of the moon, which is made up of sun and earth, and they were all round and moved round and round like their parents.
Out of fear of these human prototypes, the great Demiurge Zeus decided to split these beings into two to limit their power and ensure His own safety -- before these dangerous roly poly creatures should decide to scamper up Mount Olympus and claim a piece of Divinity for their own. Zeus charged Apollo with the duty of bisecting the humans. The neck was turned around so that this new incomplete body would be able to fully view itself -- as a continual reminder of what it had lost. Thus, these strange quadrupeds were made into bipeds. And they were lonely.
After the division the two parts of man, each desiring his other half, came together, and throwing their arms about one another, entwined in mutual embraces, [191b] longing to grow into one, they were on the point of dying from hunger and self-neglect, because they did not like to do anything apart; and when one of the halves died and the other survived, the survivor sought another mate, man or woman as we call them -- being the sections of entire men or women, -- and clung to that. They were being destroyed, when Zeus in pity of them invented a new plan: he turned the parts of generation round to the front, for this had not been always their position, and they sowed the seed no longer as hitherto like grasshoppers in the ground, but in one another; [191c] and after the transposition the male generated in the female in order that by the mutual embraces of man and woman they might breed, and the race might continue; or if man came to man they might be satisfied, and rest, and go their ways to the business of life: so ancient is the desire of one another which is implanted [191d] in us, reuniting our original nature, making one of two, and healing the state of man. Each of us when separated, having one side only, like a flat fish, is but the indenture of a man, and he is always looking for his other half.
A similar vision exists in the Jewish Kabbalah, with the legend of the primordial man Adam original being an androgynous being prior to his female half, Lillith separating from him. After separating neither Adam nor Lillith wished to reunite, unlike Aristophane's quadrupeds who were emotionally distraught at their separation.Two main concepts are present in Aristophane's vision. First, individual humans are incomplete in and of themselves. Second, a perfect match exists for each person - a literal 'other half', two pieces of flesh that were once one flesh. This vision, is problematic, of course. Regarding the former concept, the Dead Jellyfish would not like to think that people are by nature incomplete -- requiring the presence of another in order to become complete. Granted, most people are incomplete as they are, but we have infinite potential within ourselves to do and become nearly anything we desire - with a little effort. It is not necessary to have a soul mate, lover or fuck-toy in order to be a complete human. Actually, it is equally possible to completely lose one's humanity, rather than complete it, through adventures of love and lust -- becoming so obsessed with another individual that a person ceases to pay attention to his or her own needs. The second concept, of a literal 'other half' existing for each person, is equally problematic. This concept is quite fatalistic - that a perfect match for each of us should exist would mean that a large portion of our lives are predetermined. Also, people change - a pre-existing perfect match would mean either that if we change our match stays the same (although no longer a perfect match), or we are incapable of change. As such, I pray to whatever gods that may be that no such 'other half' exists for me - as I would prefer to have the freedom to be able to change.
Although Aristophane's vision of a pre-existent soul mate may is not something I would consider to be desirable, the concept of a soul mate is not without value. Another individual, who compliments myself nearly perfectly, to walk (or rather tumble roly poly) down the path of magick together hand in hand, tentacle in tentacle would be simply wonderful. Not a match chosen by the Fates or Destiny, but merely two people who by the random circumstances of life have developed in a way to be remarkably compatible with each other. I see no reason why there could not be several such matches, but one would be sufficient.
How and where can a person meet such a soul mate? It is an irrelevant question. A more appropriate question would be "Would I recognise someone who matches me if she or he bit me on the nose." Probably not.
I reject the notion of a pre-existent soul mate. And furthermore I doubt whether I could find a person out there by pure chance that happens to be an ideal match. What option does that leave me?
Creating a soul mate.
In Greek mythology there is a legend of a sculptor who created his own soul mate. Pygmalion was a man whose fortunes in love were quite bad - bad enough for him to develop an extreme distrust towards the female gender. He became a recluse, and began focussing on his one true love in life - sculpture. One day after acquiring a large slab of ivory he created what was to be his opus, a statue of a young maiden nearly perfect in every minute detail. The craftsmanship of this sculpture was so fine that those who viewed his work had difficultly ascertaining whether it had been crafted or not. Pygmalion likewise had difficulty believing that his work was of ivory, not of flesh. He treated it as if she was real, pampering her often with exquisite gifts. Pygmalion's masterpiece grew in fame and eventually reached the ears of the goddess Aphrodite. The goddess of love's curiosity was aroused, so she journeyed to Pygmalion's home to regard this statue for herself. She was impressed with the statue, but mostly because she found a likeness to herself in it. She felt pity for Pygmalion's plight, and decided to grant him a boon that she knew he would appreciate. When Pygmalion kissed his statue he was surprised to find her kissing him back. His fondest wish had been granted and the object of his desires was now flesh rather than ivory.
Literally creating a lover out of a slab of ivory would be ludicrous, but it is possible to make use of Pygmalion's legend as a metaphor. The uncarved slab of ivory that he starts with can be viewed as the qualities that a person looks for in a mate. In the uncarved state the ivory has the potential to become any shape. Likewise, when we are young and first begin the dating game we are naive and do not have a good understanding of what kind of person would be good for us -- an uncarved state. The sculptor brings a shape out of the ivory by carving and polishing it, and people refine their ideas of what a good match would be through the dating process. For example, at one point in my life I thought, "the religious beliefs of a lover are of no importance to me." I changed my mind, though, after dating an overly zealous atheist who was obsessed with "proving" all of the world's religions to be wrong, and continually laughed at my practice of magick. Obviously I was wrong, and then I made a revision to my former view, "the religious beliefs of a lover do matter to me and some capacity of belief is necessary in a lover." Next, the pendulum swung full force in the opposite direction and I met a girl who was a hardcore Roman Catholic. She went to confession after having a dirty thought about me. Zoinks! That relationship went nowhere fast. After that experience I made a further revision upon my ideas of a what a good lover should be like, "tolerance of religious beliefs are necessary to me, but extreme and unquestioning devotion to a particular religion is not acceptable." Through the process of dating, people refine their ideas of what they want and need in a lover and slowly sculpt an image of the ideal mate in their minds.
I want to speed this process up...
The Constructed Soul Mate Ritual
0. Preparation:
Attain a slab of clay and a cutting utensil for manipulating the clay. Also you'll need to preconstruct a Sigil representing the Goddess Aphrodite and your desire of finding a nearly perfect mate.
1. Banishing of the Magickian's choice.
2. Invocation of Pygmalion:
Concrete on the slab of clay in front of you. Call forth Pygmalion into your body and pick up your cutting utensil. Think about your past dating history. Think about each person you have dated and what you have learned from each experience. Think carefully about what was completely unacceptable in each relationship, and for each unacceptable thing cut a piece off the slab of clay. After eliminating the unacceptable things from the uncarved slab then think about the good things in each of your past relationships. Think about what you'd like to see in an ideal lover. With each good quality, mold the slab of clay. When you've finished thinking of good qualities you should have a vaguely humanoid looking creature standing on your altar. Carve a Sigil into your statue -- representing both your ideal of finding a nearly perfect mate and the Goddess Aphrodite. Fawn over your creation, treating it as if it was real. Offer it gifts as Pygmalion did. Lust over it. Feel your passion for your creation grow. Engage in auto-eroticism whilst gazing at the statue. After reaching your climax anoint the statue with your sexual fluid.
3. Evocation of the Love Goddess Aphrodite:
Call forth Aphrodite
"Oh Great Aphrodite I call you forth into this humble -----------artist's abode
I thank you for the experiences of Love that you have ---------given me
I thank you for the positive experiences for they have ---------brought me joy and have taught me what I need and -----want
I thank you for the negative experiences for they have --------made me stronger and have taught me what I don't -------need nor want.This statue I have created represents the sum total of --------the experiences you have given me
It is in your image
Have pity on me and breath life into it so that I may -----------experience more."
Kiss the statue. Feel it come to life with your kiss. Feel it kissing you back.
It is alive - a living representation of your ideal mate. It will bring you closer to your mate - allowing you to meet someone who complements you nearly perfectly.
4. Banishing of the Magickian's choice.
69. Go forth into the world, date, love, fuck and experience.